“I trusted you.” It was a statement, harsh and cold. Heartbroken, gut-wrenching. Defeated.
“Well then, you can’t exactly blame me, can you? It was your mistake.” She packed things into a suitcase and zipped it shut. The sound grating on his nerves, he clenched his teeth till they hurt. This woman had promised to never leave him. Promised she would take care of him. Love him. She was his mom for crying out loud.
What did you do when the only mother you have ever known decides that she doesn’t care enough to stay? Decides that your trust is no longer important enough to her? That you were just a tool to get what she wanted?
I hated crying, it made me feel week. At least that is what my mother had always told me. But she had turned out to be the biggest liar that ever walked in, and now out, of my life. So, instead of holding them back, I let the tears cascade out of my eyes and down my face.
“You mean you would just leave me? After. . . everything?” My stomach burned as I said the words. Pain so deep, it felt like it would never heal.
“Let me think for just a second, hmmm. . .” she tapped her chin with a perfectly painted black nail. “Yes,” Her gaze was heartless. How had I never noticed the empty, dark, hungry look in her eyes before?
Her suitcase thudded down the steps to the sidewalk. I stood frozen to the spot, unable to move. The sound of the car trunk slamming broke me out of my trance like state. I ran to the door. The need to hurt her as much as she had hurt me overwhelming me.
“You won’t enjoy it! Not one bit of the money, the life you have now! I hope you . . . die!” It was the worst thing I could think of to say. But the scariest part was. . . I didn’t mean it. I just wanted her to love me again, wanted to love her again.
Then, as much as a ten year old can comprehend such things as she laughed and drove away, the realization that she had never loved me flooded my brain with darkness. I sat down heavily.
“God, do you love me?”
I looked around. Where did that voice come from? It had been so loud it seemed as if it came from right next to me.
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
I realized why it had been so loud. It had echoed in my heart. Peace and comfort overwhelmed me. Maybe I could live after all. At least someone cared for me. Someone loved me. With a love that would never die.
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By His Grace,