I was originally planning on doing an outfit post today. But man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. I thought I would share with you what has been tugging on my heart all week.
Several people that I know are dealing with some very difficult stuff. Like, life threatening.
My Sister-in-Law’s sweet mama who happens to be a dear friend is in the hospital with stage 4 cancer that went south so fast, it is hard to imagine. A week ago, she was just experiencing slight stomach pain and is now touch and go. We are watching my sweet nephew and niece while my brother and sis-in-love are at the hospital with her mom.
A family that we know, their daughter (who happens to be my age) was broadsided by a car and is in the hospital in ICU in a coma with a severe brain injury and has been for over a week. She is also touch and go.
Another family that I don’t know personally, but feel like I do because I follow Emily’s blog, is also going through a rough time. Emily’s husband has cancer pretty bad and they are trying to deal with that and raise their family at the same time.
It has been such a difficult week. Watching people that I love go through such hard and dark and uncertain times makes my heart ache so much. Often, the only words I have had for God are a constant begging and asking for His grace and mercy to be poured out.
I was able to go to a worship event called OUTCRY. There is a special story there. I had been hearing about it and finally got around to asking Mom and Daddy if they thought I might be able to go. They just asked questions, and didn’t say anything. Later, they called me back and told me that someone we know had gifted us with tickets! I immediately started crying. God must have wanted me to go and in light of everything that has been going on, It couldn’t have been better timing. While there, I wanted to keep my gaze and focus on God, not the flashy lights, or artists who were there. It had been a bad day for two of the people I mentioned above. When I didn’t know the songs, I was praying for these people and others in my life. The words of some of the songs really resonated with so many of the feelings and circumstances going on. I just sat and stood with tears streaming down my face, praising God, worshiping Him, pleading with Him, and claiming scripture. I don’t think I have ever prayed like that in my life.
I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what to do or what to tell my Sis. All I can do is pray and love her and her little ones while we have them. I want to take it all away, want to make everything better, but I can’t.
My heart is so heavy. I know that God is Sovereign. That His will will be done. That, no. matter. what. we can always trust Him. I have had to continue telling myself that more than normal this week.
I wanted to share a few songs that have been floating around in my head and comforting me through this week.
Sovereign Over Us
By Michael W. Smith
There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You’re sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You’re teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You’re the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for Your glory
I Am Not Alone
By Kari Jobe
When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear
You amaze me
You call me as Your own
You’re my strength
You’re my defender
You’re my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You’ve always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul
Truly, only by God’s grace,