Why “Back to School” Breaks My Heart

why _back to school_

*Disclaimer: Before I start off with this post, I hope that everyone understands that I do not judge those who send their children to school and I don’t think that everyone should homeschool. My parents were called to homeschool me and my siblings, but I don’t for one second think that every parent is called to that. *End of disclaimer*

Now that I am an adult and I am around other adults who have children. . . I have found something that makes my heart very sad.

When fall rolls around – and it feels like it is coming earlier and earlier every year – There is this huge, mad dash to prepare your child for school. And while not every parent has this attitude, I seem to hear this a lot:

“Ugh! I can’t wait till my kids leave the house! I can finally have time to myself without being bothered!”

“I can’t pay someone enough to take my kids off my hands!”

“I can’t wait till I don’t have to put up with them 24/7 anymore!”

“Hooray! Back to school! My kids will be gone and I can finally get SOMETHING done!”

If you are cringing and wondering if I made this up to sound bad, think again. These exact words have issued out of the mouths of some people I know or on videos I have seen on the internet.

My heart hurts

Does anyone else hear the ugliness? If children are a gift and a blessing, then why does everyone see them as an unwanted chore? Something that doesn’t deserve their attention? Something they would rather see thrown to the wolves of society than have to take care of them themselves?

Why has this become okay?

And we wonder why so many children have issues with self-worth, finding themselves beautiful and worthy. If this is what they hear from their parents or even receive via body language or attitudes, it is little wonder. I would hate for the mom ranting into her phone in Target about how she can’t pay someone enough to take her kids to have her children, several years down the road watch this and realize that their mom seemed to care less about having them around.

Even if that is not what she meant, then why let such curses come from your mouth?

This thought process that your children aren’t worth sewing into and raising yourself. That spending time with them is a chore. That taking the time to train them is too much work is slowly poisoning our society. It just happens to come out strongly around this time and it makes my heart ache.

My parents got mad, they failed. Sometimes we bothered them and sometimes they needed alone time. They were human. But I NEVER felt like I was a waste of their time, a chore for them, and that I was some monster they had to get away from. I knew I was loved, cherished and raised with a love that showed me the Father’s love more clearly.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy, and blessed is the man whose quiver is filled with them. They will not be put to shame when they speak with their adversaries in the gate.”

By all means, if sending your children to school is what you have to do, then do it, but please don’t degrade them in the process.

Can we start viewing children as blessings instead of bothers? Treasures instead of terrors? And gifts instead of a responsibility to be loathed?

Have you ever been bothered by this attitude?

By God’s Grace,

Victoria

13 thoughts on “Why “Back to School” Breaks My Heart

  1. I cringe every time I hear those things. It’s horrible! I can’t imagine what it would have been like being away from my parents for the majority of my growing-up years, and I definitely can’t imagine saying goodbye to my little sibs every day. It would be awful.

    Thank you for writing this. Very well said. ❤

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  2. Oh my word, yes! Parents should be speaking blessing and love towards their children ALWAYS! It makes me so sad when they don’t. My mother, who didn’t have affirming people in her life at ALL, has worked very, very hard to affirm her children. She has told us how smart, kind, beautiful, (or handsome! ;P) loving, worthwhile we are regularly. And it DOES make a difference. My mom and I are amazing friends. I honestly know very few people who have as wonderful relationships with their kiddo’s or parents as my mom and I or my mom and siblings do! It’s so sad that parents seem to think it’s okay to just spew trash about their children. It’s horrible. I hope that I don’t ever do that to my children! I want them to know they are precious and valued no matter what they do! That they don’t have to earn my love or affection!

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  3. Great post! I can’t say I’ve heard this specifically about going back to school (I’m homeschooled and everyone I spend a lot of time with homeschools), but I can definitely see how most people really don’t care about their kids. It is sad! 😦 I’m very grateful that my parents decided to homeschool me. ❤ 🙂

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  4. Wow, this can’t be more true; it is so sad to hear parents say that when you KNOW the love their kids, and yet…. they seem to want them to leave? What is this telling the kids? Well said, Victoria!!!

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  5. I agree completely! It’s so sad to hear a parent, even someone you know personally, say these things about their own children. Their words are not of love, and it won’t help teach their children how to show care for someone. Thanks for posting this! 🙂
    ~ Megan Joy

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  6. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! I went to a regular school from kindergarten through 6th grade before being homeschooled, but my parents never made me feel like they were glad to send me off so I could be “someone else’s problem”. They made it clear they missed me during the day and were happy to have me home during breaks. This modern attitude of wanting your kids gone just baffles me, but even some back-to-school-sale commercials feature parents having attitudes like that. Though they’re intended to be funny, I always can’t help thinking how hurtful it could be to a child to feel like their parents only think of them as a burden. I just…I can’t. It’s not right at all. *shakes head* 😦 Please, Lord, help our society change these harmful attitudes and show our children the love they deserve as gifts from You!

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  7. Beautiful post, Victoria!! Thank you for shedding some light on a topic not often talked about. I completely agree with you 100%. I was very blessed to be homeschooled by my parents, and I’m so thankful to God for that upbringing. My parents never made me feel like I was a waste of time. Random story: In the Christmas song “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” there’s a line that says, “And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again.” I remember my parents spoke up and said that they certainly didn’t feel that way about us–my brother and I. 🙂 (Even though, being homeschooled, we didn’t actually GO back to school. ;P) Your post just reminded me of that. 🙂
    Great job!!!

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  8. Oh my goodness, I actually have to agree. I see so many moms on social media saying they need a break from their kids or that they can’t wait until their bedtime! I’m sure it can be very tiring, definitely more so at other times, but I don’t think they realize how bad that sounds!

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