Why I Don’t Get Depressed On Valentine’s Day

Why I don't get depressed on

I know valentine’s day has come and gone already this year. But, even though it is late, I still wanted to share my thoughts on the subject.

So many people these days, are so depressed when it comes to this day of the year. And it all comes down to being alone. They are lonely, they wish they had a significant other, etc.

And while I could jump on the bandwagon, because I too am single and I too can’t wait to start a life with someone special, I think it’s so sad that people are depressed about it. I could also go on about so many things in this post, but I want to talk about why I am not depressed about it.

The main thing for me is I feel so confident in God’s plan for me, that I don’t mind if I’m not married or in a relationship for another year. I know God has the perfect someone out there for me and that He will bring that person to me in His good timing. I have had friends and siblings who have seen God work in mighty ways to bring them the people that they love, and I couldn’t be happier for them. Seeing God’s special plan for them has made me even more excited about my own, but not depressed. It is so beautiful for something to happen in God’s own time and way, that I wouldn’t wish to change that plan for anything.

Comparison is another thief of joy. If I compared my story to someone else’s, I would probably be depressed. They are married and I’m not. They are in a relationship and I’m not. They met their heart’s desire, and I have not. See where is this going? This leads back to the previous comment. If I trust God’s plan for me completely, then why would I be wishing for something another person has?

I am single and I am free. This statement is also heard a lot. And while the whole “freedom” thing and “women’s rights” is SO not my forte, it does have merit. I am doing so many things in my life right now that I enjoy, that I love, and that I can use to bring glory to the Lord and draw others closer to him. I have so many ministry opportunities, so many opportunities in general, that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was in a relationship. And that’s not to say that the time won’t come for me to put these things aside for the sake of a relationship, but at this point in my life, I am so happy with all of the things I get to do on a daily basis! I get to write novels, pursue some dreams, encourage others, work at a job to save money for sundry necessities such as a car. I have the ability to write on this blog, to encourage people who I have come to know and be a prayer warrior for them. I even get the freedom to travel a bit. I am so excited for the season that I am in right now, and I am so confident in where God has me AT THIS MOMENT,  that a longing for a relationship doesn’t get in the way. We need to make the most of EVERY opportunity. We can’t just wait around for prince charming or Miss perfect. God has big plans for us and think of what we can do between now and when we get the opportunity to raise the next generation! That is so important and I can’t wait to shape little minds of the future, but in this time, I am shaping my own mind to better equip those to come.

Well, I feel like that was all over the place, but to be honest, I can’t help it. I just feel this excitement bubbling up in me. I have been seeing God move in my life and in the lives of my family that I know it is going to be an awesome ride.

All of this is not to say that I am not excited about a future with a man that I love. Or that I don’t expectantly wait for the day I get to meet him. Or that I don’t long for the day to hold babies of my own and raise and shape them together with a human being who knows me better than anyone. A day may come when all of that finally happens:

“But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand ladies of the west!” ~Aragorn, Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien

Lol! If you know anything about LOTR, then that made sense, and excuse my paraphrase. If not, forget about it. But my encouragement to you is that now is a time where we can be doing so much, even if that is the ground between your own two feet, helping with dishes, or working at school work, or folding laundry. We can make things happen during this stage of our lives, so let’s do it. And let’s be excited about it! There are so many things to be excited about!

What are your thoughts on valentine’s day?

By God’s Grace,


8 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Get Depressed On Valentine’s Day

  1. I was never ever depressed during Valentine’s Day, and I never ever will be (because of the day, anyway :P). To me, Valentine’s Day is not a day of romance. Sure, it’s about love–but God’s love is the most important of all, and that’s what we make it about. There is a Christian radio music program that plays love-themed music on the Friday closest to Valentine’s Day, to which we always listen. We used to make valentines for our siblings, and now our dolls make valentines for each other.

    It was only when I started interacting with people on the Internet when I realized, “Oh, people treat Valentine’s Day as a romance holiday solely.” Then I realized that people actually mope and cry (???) on Valentine’s Day because they don’t have a significant other. I know that because I read blog posts of people saying why they’re not depressed on Valentine’s Day. XD I am so not of this world.



  2. Yes yes yes! I feel the same way…. many people around me are struggling with Valentine’s day, but while I hope I am compassionate to them, I don’t feel that way. I’m so happy to be single right now and to have this time to delight in the Lord. To me, Valentine’s day doesn’t mean only romantic relationships. Instead, I love it as a special time to spend with my family. There may come a time when this is a struggle, idk! But this year I loved Valentine’s day as a day for me to express my love to my family and to delight in my Prince of Peace. 🙂
    Nice LOTR reference btw XD I’ll never look at that quote the same again, lol!


  3. Yes yes yes!!! I absolutely loved reading this — as my eyes scanned the page, my brain was wondering how on earth you could put my thoughts into so many words. As a single lady, I often wonder how other girls can sit down and let life drift by them, depressed because the haven’t met the perfect match yet, while at the same time professing to follow God’s plan for their life. We weren’t created for marriage — we were created to bring glory to our Lord. And while that may sound harsh, the Lord knows how I will glorify Him best with my life. Obviously, right now at this moment, I can best glorify Him as a single person striving to use the time He has given me in serving others — the elderly, the church, my own family, the stranger at the grocery store. In His perfect time, if it is His will, He will bring me a husband, and then I will best glorify Him by serving and caring for him, raising a family, keeping a home……and I say all that fully knowing that it is not easy to be single and having all your friends getting married and having children — after all, I am a girl, and I’ve been there 😀 But if I am not content right now, where God has me, how will I ever be content in marriage? A man cannot fulfill my desires, only the Lord can. And I don’t deserve a husband or children — if that is the Lord’s will for my life, then it will be a gift and a blessing, one that I am most undeserving of.

    And yes — the Lord will definitely get you where you need to be to meet the love of your life. He brought my parents together from two states across the US, I know of friends that have met through “accidents” — I have one friend who rear-ended a guy in a different state who brought him home to dinner, who met and later married his daughter…..who never would have met her if he hadn’t hit the guy in the first place 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I love this post so much! Thanks for sharing it and for your radiant, godly, contagious excitement and attitude!

    As a woman who is now married with children, it is so true that truly nothing that matters changes: satisfaction and contentment don’t come with marriage, and depression doesn’t magically disappear. As wonderful as marriage and children truly are, at times I struggle with discontentment or envy of the freedom of singleness. So keep finding your perfect satisfaction in abiding in Jesus Christ “in whatsoever state I am” – He loves us more than we can imagine and has each of us in the perfect place for us for this moment!


  5. Great post, Victoria! We’re of one mind! While I long for marriage someday, I wouldn’t trade my singleness for anything right now. It’s such an amazing season, and I’m so thankful I can trust God’s plan and timing.

    Also, I’m still grinning about your Aragorn quote! It cracked me up, and I couldn’t stop laughing! So unexpected but so perfect and appropriate! 🙂


  6. This year was actually the best and first non-depressed Valentines I’ve had in about 4 years, and I hope those will end up being the ONLY 4 years I’ll have had now that I’ve learned some lessons.

    I didn’t have issues with Valentine’s Day until I hit my twenties. Before then I didn’t think much about relationships or marriage because I knew I was too young and wasn’t really interested in boys at that point anyway, but when I hit about 21 or 22 and realized I did desire marriage, plus then coming to realize marriage just wasn’t going to happen for me for a while yet, I had some struggles with loneliness which were sharpened by Valentine’s Day. Looking back, I feel like the devil was lying to me really hard during those four years, and not having had those feelings before, I didn’t know how to fight back on that particular front. Through some fighting with God and accepting the tools He’s been giving me to fight with, I’ve gotten better, but still struggled with those feelings off and on.

    What seems to have made the difference this year were some lessons God taught me over the course of late 2016 and the first half of 2017, which ironically came through the “birth” and “death” of the first major crush of my life. Long story short, I developed an intense crush on my pastor’s youngest son who was only a couple years older than me and had come back to our church from seminary to do a temporary internship under the youth pastor. He didn’t know I existed, but I liked him anyway because every single thing I learned about him seemed to indicate that he was exactly the kind of man I’d always hoped for and he was clearly in love with God. I prayed God would make a way for me to meet and talk to him, but it just kept not happening. Then, BOOM one day after this crush had been going for months and I was honestly getting so frustrated over it I was asking God to either open doors for something to happen or take it away, it was announced in church that the guy and his parents weren’t in church because he was getting married that day. No wonder God hadn’t let me meet him, he’d been engaged the entire time! To say the least I sat there feeling like, if that crush had been a piece of paper in my hands, someone had just set it on fire and it had gone up in a puff of smoke. Once I got over the initial shock and hurt of wondering why God had let me feel that way for so long when He knew the guy was engaged the whole time, I realized that I was actually okay. Now, having even more distance from that time, I believe God let me experience that crush because He wanted me to see that I could have hope for a relationship both given and taken away from me and survive it because I had HIM. In addition to that, last year was when God lead me to online friendship with you, Victoria, and the other wonderful girls we both know through Goodreads. You all have been such good examples to me in being content with your situations in life that it’s been rubbing off on me, so when Valentine’s Day rolled around this year, it didn’t even occur to me to be depressed this time. I just had a quiet pleasant day with my parents and was content with that. I know there may still be times when I struggle with loneliness, but I dunno…I feel like I’ve turned a major corner in that area, so thanks be to God and His continual working on me for that. 🙂

    P.S. I loved the LOTR reference. XD

    Liked by 2 people

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