This blog has been a source of encouragement. I hope it always will be. I want my readers to leave feeling brighter, stronger, and strengthened than when they arrived. I pray that what I write is an inspiration to others. But sometimes, being raw and real can be just as encouraging. I don’t have it all together. Not that I ever claimed I did, but blogging only shares a tiny bit of my life. I struggle, the reality is, that while a lot of my life is amazing, there are still things that hurt, are painful, draining and just downright depressing at times. So this post is to share some of the reality with you. Sometimes it is encouraging to know that other people go through the same things we do.
When God gave me the word Fearless as my word for the year, I was kind of like, “Okay, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now. I mean it sounds great, I’m not that fearful of a person, I’m pretty brave, but if you are going to teach me something, that’s great!”
It wasn’t really until a few days ago that I had a bit of an epiphany moment while driving home from work in my car, exhausted, near tears, worn out, in pain and just. . .ugh. When I realized that God was working on the fear in my life. At work, I have been dealing with fear. I’m intimidated easily. Outwardly, I put up a good front, when in reality, inside I can be a weeping mess. There are nights that I come home and collapse in a puddle of tears. I deal with some very strong personalities, and while they aren’t abusive in anyway, I am so sensitive that I take things hard. That is a flaw of mine and one I hope to get better at.
But the thing is, God is teaching me through the struggle to be fearless. Confidence is another word that comes to mind. Not in myself, because I am nothing special. But in Christ. He is my confidence. What He thinks about me is the only thing that truly matters, not what my boss thinks, not what my co-workers think, not what the other people I come in contact with each day think. My job is to be confident in who God created me to be. To not collapse when adversity hits. To stand strong and know that Christ is my all, and that He is my defender.
But, y’all. It’s hard. It is so hard. I can try all I want, but I will never reach perfection. It is only by Christ that I can ever become better than I am. So all I can really do is keep trying, placing myself in God’s hands and praying for a right spirit, a holy fearlessness, and a confident hope.
Life really sucks sometimes. But the most important thing we could ever do is put our faith in God and rest in Him. Let Him do the work.
Maybe that is what fearlessness is really all about. It takes a lot of guts to jump off that cliff and let God do the catching. Honestly? I don’t know what I’m doing. But God does, and I’m following Him, so what’s the worst that could happen? What I could perceive as the worst really can’t be all that bad when God is here beside me, right? We are in this together. I know one truth. God is a good Father. And that’s all I need to know.
How is life for you right now? Really? I would love to pray for you and create a community of praying for each other, so if you are struggling, feel free to share below. This is a safe place and I would love bring your struggles or concerns to my Father.
Love and by God’s Grace,